Everythings ruin

Everythings seems ruin in a split second tonight. Just because of that girl, im not that type yg suka nk salahkan org. Tp awak, sebagai perempuan yg plg bermakna dlm hidup bf awak, you dont need to tell him about things that will make hubungan dia dgn membe rapat dia in a goyah situation. Bukan kitorang nk terus menipu, tp kawan dia nk jaga hati bf kamu tu. Tp kenapa awak, awak org yg terlampau sygkan dia pergi tebar cerita dekat bf awak pasal ex kpd bf awak been closed with your bf best buddy. Dont you just think first before you make a move. Think what will happen after you tell the story. Its not about, ajoy nk sorok sampai bila2 dia contact dgn aku dkt bf kau tu. Cuma dia fikir dia kena jaga perasaan mmbe dia. Lagi2 aku ni, ex kpd bf kau tu. Tp semua dah jadi, cuma aku mintak. Please think out of the box laa. Think what will happen next. Sorry if you think im act like im the good one. Its not like that, just wanna say you make things out of range. But alhamdulillah ajoy dah lega tak perlu sorok dah but just kalau boleh dia sendiri nk cerita dekat bf kau tu. Tp kau dah cerita and siap tunjuk gamba aku lepak dgn ajoy dkt bf kau dulu so everythings mcm not in a good ways dahlah. But nothing will change present anymore.

Just so you know,

Down to earth hmm

Assalamualaikum. Hey there, are you doing fine all readers out there? Kinda miss my blog. Im a bit busy now a days, many things had goes on with my life and many things to be settled. Many things to be faced with. And the hard part is im facing it alone, no more shoulder to cry on or tell story like before. Yelaa, dah habis sekola, kalau dulu everyday jumpa mmbe and they know if im in a good situation or no just looking by my morning face. But now, no more school. No more laugh and telling story with friends in class. I just wanna say, I really miss my friend. I miss 5 amanah laughter. If im in a hard sitution, we're all gathered in class making jokes and laugh together just make my day and makes me forget about my problems for a moment. But now no more. Like tonight, im totally down. Truly down. Cant I just sleep and next morning im wake up everythings settled! But I know, every problem we had to face it by own and dont ever run from the reality.

Just wish....

Happiness only pass by in my life then gone

Im lost sometimes. I dont know where to go. I dont know where to stop by and tell everybody to stop and give me some space. Im stucked! Before this, im okay on the outside and hurt inside. But now, im totally down outside and inside. Feels like the whole world is resting on my shoulder. I dont want anything, I just want a forever happiness. Why people like me just had a happiness in a second and having most of the time on this earth in the sadness part more. Why?! Yes I know I cant say like that. I have to accept the qada and qadar but I just cant handle everything anymore. I still remember my counselor said to me, " Sharifah, awak ni lain dari pelajar yg pernah saya kenal. Awak bukan saja pandai sorok apa yg awak lalui tp awak pandai sorok wajah luka perit awak tu. But remember dear, you cant hide it forever" And I think what my counselor said to me is became real now. Yes I cant hide it anymore. I see that when im facing my family problem like now I cant stay happy and crazy with my friends anymore like I used too. But now, I became silent when I keep remind all the problem that whining in my head all and over again without ending part. 

Like today, im happy with those work thing then when I came home. My mom said that my cousin got 7A1B for her PMR. And mama suddenly talks about my past 2 years PMR result. Ma! Is this how you treat me as your daughter, you keep repeating my mistake. Why ma?! How many times I should tell you, I wanna change! I regret with my past. I know I did a big mistake. How many times I make you and babah down. But please ma, give me chance and I dont want anything. I just want you to give me your spirit. I just want to be strong like you ma. Coz I know what mama's been through since mama married with babah and you raised me and sister with a strong heart and good discipline. I just want you to know ma, berapa kali eyra menangis sbb mama marah eyra. Selagi tula eyra rasa eyra semakin matang coz mama still there to give me advice. But I just cant accept it when you talk about my past and compare with the better child out there and repeating about my bad past with my ex. That is the most part that I hate to argue with you. How am I wanna move on if you ma, you, the one that give birth on me and feed me until I can eat by my ownself talk about things that I hate to remind back. I just cant ma. Stories with my ex is the most past that I dont want to be repeat it. I dont want ma. If I die one day before you ma, I want you to know I post this entry with tears that non-stop drop. I dont want anything ma, I want you to be there and give me spirit to forget my past. Only that ma, I want you to know, I love you and babah more than I love myself. You two are the most precious things that I have in my life.

Proudly to have you two in my life, mama babah 

Work! Its time to collect money, money $.$

I cant sleep tonight. Maybe mixed up feelings make my eyes dont want to close. Today I already start my job at cosway with my friend Humaira and I used to called her raa for short. And people would confuse if hear our conversations coz both of us has a same short name, raa haha. Okay back to the story. Btw I only worked at cosway about 3 days until this friday because raa text me last monday that her boss need a worker but just for a short term. Then I just give a simple decision to take the job then we start our work at 9 o'clock in the morning and we had our lunch at 1.30. Then the happy moment came after we had lunch. We visit nasz at secret recipe coz he worked there. Nasz is my friend from smkbbb too but he moved to teknik Sepang after PMR but he stay at bukit mahkota so we're still keep in touch and he's my friend boyfriend, ainal. So, paham2 laa takkan lost contact punya laa keen.

Haha okay! I short the stories, me and raa came inside secret recipe then we ask laa whether have a vacancy for us to worked there. Then, ni nak habaq ni. My 3rd sister, Nadia. Dah pernah kerja secret dulu time dia cuti sem so ada certain yg dekat secret tu still cam laa muka aku sbb dorg pernah raya rumah semua kan and so on. Pastu org yg aku tanya ada vacancy ke tak tu is Abg Bukhari. Abg bukhari ni bolehlah rapat jugak dgn akak aku masa kerja dulu sbb anggap kak ya mcm adik2 dia. So dia terus kata adik Nadia kan? Haha then I said yes laa. My sister keen haha then dia terus bagi me and raa 2 piece of paper and 2 pen to us to fill the information about ourself. Then dah isi tuuuu, jeng jeng jeng! Haha suspen sikit laa jangan laa nerd sangat haha. Haa lepastu abg bukhari dtg terus kata dah peghabis isi ke then dia tgk borang tu sikit2 pastu tewoih dia amik kami as a waitress and we gonna start our 1st day of work at secret recipe on 2nd January! Yeayy for me hehe alhamdulillah. Berkat doa sendiri and org ramai yg doakan for me dapat jugak kerja ;) Tp kena inject sbb kerja restaurant keenn you know la. Aighoo jarum yg ku tolak, tp tu jugak yg dhulur haihh -,- Btw takpe la demi kerja. So I'll be updating more what goes in my life during work and so on. Love yaaa! Takecare, jgn gelak tak ingat Allah ye, assalamualaikum xx

What I felt when you leave, ex

I dont know it would be like this. I dont even think that we can be strangers like this, while before this we're so in love, promise will protect each other in what situation. But in a split second, everythings change! Everythings seems blurr to me. I dont even know you anymore. I never thought that we can be in this situation where you dont know me anymore and I dont even care with you anymore. Sometimes I think, is this all my fault? Is it all came from my fault? But I think deep, you said you love me. Love is where TWO person commit and express their love through each other. SEE! Two person! Thats meant im not the only person who should care about it. But you too! Your the one who asked for it but im the one who suffer now. But I think I should move on and forget about you. I went and faced everything alone since you leave me. But I strive for it. I search my happiness without knowing means of tired. Btw, thanks for leaving me, thanks for teaching me what means of hurt. I thank you a lot :) But I just want you to know, you leave me is not the reason im down, but the memories with you that make me died everyday since you leave me. Truly from my heart not from my mouth. Assalamualaikum xx

Zhuhair is back! Yeayyy ;)

Assalamualaikum! According to the tittle zhuhair is my bestfriend. Dia laa crying shoulder aku and he always there when I need him even I dont need him pon, but he always there to create a smile on my face and I called him as my best buddies ever! Zhuhair baca ni confirm kembang mambang dahlah dia dah tembam haha. Okay! Back to the main story, why aku ckp dia balik. Because selama ni dia ikut ayah dia kerja dekat jb at that time dia form 3 then form 4 and form 5 ayah dia pindah kerja kat sarawak pulak. Jauhh keenn?! So kitorg just contact through the wire jela hahaa. So sabtu baru2 ni dia dah selamat smpai ke bangi and im the 1st person that he tell he gonna came back bangi and not going anywhere no more after this inshaAllah :) So sape tak happy kan mmbe rapat dah ada dekat dgn kita balik. Then aku terharu sangat sbb before dia balik aku ada ckp dgn dia aku nk sangat kek lapis saghawak. But dia kata dia dont have much time nk pergi beli dah. But you know what dia berusaha gak beli. Sbb smlm dia call dia beria nk jumpa aku kata nk bagi brg sbb kata brg ni tak tahan lama. Aku dah pelik mende dia nk bagi.ni. Then suddenly aku tak pat lepak sbb my mom not in the good mood nk kasi aku klua. Then aku call zhuhair dia dah cam bengang. Aku ckpla bukan aku taknak jumpa but mama aku yg loghat sikit haritu. Sait lagi dia telepas jugak ckp dia nk bagi aku kek lapis. Aoohh masa tu aku terharu koo yela dia carik gak benda aku nak. Nampak tak? Thats why aku sayang kau zhuhair haha. Tp inshaAllah rabu ni jumpa lps aku habis kerja. Haa pasai kerja nnti ceq habaq naa at new entry ngehehe. Okay thats all for this entry :* Much love from me xoxo

Zhuhair was the left one with his punch!

Where have you've been money!

Oh hi everyone! Assalamualaikum :D Okay according to my tittle hmm yes money. I need money! :( Sad me is so sad you know :/ I dont have any job yet while waiting for my SPM result about 3 months I guess. While majority of my friend already got a job :( Poor me is poor me. But I have 2 business that I've been work-it-out now is selling online teenage cloth with my sis and make a blueberry cheese tart. But business that i've been sharing with my sis are taking a break now. So I only focus on my cheese tart. Income I get from cheese tart is a bit much but I had to give my parents 50% of the profit to pay back the electricity that I used to baked and 20% of it I give my parents. Like you know laa nak dapat berkat org tua kan then give them some of it laa. So that means I only have 30% of it to cycle back the modal to buy things to make new order. Then, I only have profit for my ownself like 10 to 20 ringgit only. What will I get from 20 ringgit?! You all know right many things are so expensive right now? Even we wanna go to toilet we have to pay. Sad life of mine right :'( But few of my friends said that try to search job again early jan. Because many student that are in form4 are quitting their job coz they got to go school back! So, I hope korang doa2 kan laa I okay tu pun if korang rajin laa. Moga2 korang doa for me then you all get blessed by Allah amin :) Okay laa thats all I think, just pray the best for my future. Love yaa! Assalamualaikum xx

A brand new!

Assalamualaikum ;) Hi guys! Dont be shocked with my new look blog. Haha yes I already rearranged all things in my blog and delete all the old post. Haha its a bit wow right? The reason why I do all this new look is that I wanna start a brand new life of mine :) As you all know I already end up my SPM on 6th Dec. So I've been thinking I should start a new life and take a big step to let go my past memories. Whether its a hurt one's nor the cheerful time I will always remind that as a memory and take all that as a reminder to my future. Okay! I'll be always keep posting my moment in life in ze blog of mine. No more left my ze blog and let all the dusty covered it up like the old one haha im not promise im sure I will spend my time with ze blog even a second. Haha okay then, already 5'oclock in the morning! :O I should sleep right. Much love from me, xo Assalamualaikum xx

Peace yaaa :B