Working life after spm. Totally exhausted!

Assalamualaikum ;) Hello my dearly followers. Its been a month right I didnt update my blog. As I said in my tittle yeah im working now at secret recipe. And I already got my first salary :) Alhamdulillah and when im working it teach me what means of real tired haha and bila dapat gaji tu like always laa kan, family first laa. Give some of it to my dearly parents, belanja makan one family, belanja kakak ni satu brg, ni satu ni satu. Haa im a good little sister keenn haha puih! But nak kongsi cerita laa, bila dapat gaji tu now I feel what my parents facing after all this dorang besarkan kitorang adik beradik. Macam2 dorang bayar. When I see my parents happy face when I gave them duit kerja titik peluh aku selama sebulan kerja ni Ya Allah rasa nk nangis sikit pon ada. Sorryla emo but tahlah, without them im sure I cant be in this kind of good situation. Maybe im already lost and get involved with the bad social thinggy. I just wanna say, I thank you a lot mama and babah and love both of you to infinity and beyondd muah sikit laa haha. Okaylaaa short the stories laa eh. But cane nk short kan, I've got many to tell you all laaa. Like seriously, bila kerja, I meet many kinds of people and setiap org ada karenah dia, ada suka, ada tidak. And aku rasa tula yg buatkan aku lagi matured day by day and mula menilai org ni mcm ni dia punya itu ke ini ke. But ingat! Dont judge a book by its cover when we want to know the real personality of the person yaa guys ;)

Okay then nk habaq sikit ni, aku kerja secret at first aku jadi cake counter but then dah nk sebulan kerja tu aku ditukarkan ke floor. Tp aku tak kisah sbb jaga bhagian cake ni mmg berat sikit laa kerja dia. Like you know kan, org kata secret je. First people set mind mesti cake. So cake ni mmg kena jaga kaw kaw punya gak ar. So now aku floor dgn humairah :) At first, aku cake counter. Humairah, qushairi, luqman n kak wani floor. Abg sanny n kak azi kitchen. Nasz barista. Abe nan n Abg bukhari s.visor mmg tak usik laa. But dlm 12hb Jan centu kak wani stop sbb dia nk masuk kolej balik kan. Then 2 weeks after that, luqman suddenly stop. So tinggallah aku n humairah floor. Qushairi cake counter, nasz, abg sanny n kak azi still on their own position laa. Masa awal kerja like mcm2 jugak laa kena tegur like itu ini but biasalah nama pon kerja, so we're still searching an experience right ;) Okay then! I think thats all for now, if got new story morry in my life, im sure I will search some time for me to post it in my dearly blog okay! Much love from me for you all ;D Assalamualaikum! Takecare guys and btw, 

Im wishing you all, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR GUYS AND GIRL out there! ;)

Everythings ruin

Everythings seems ruin in a split second tonight. Just because of that girl, im not that type yg suka nk salahkan org. Tp awak, sebagai perempuan yg plg bermakna dlm hidup bf awak, you dont need to tell him about things that will make hubungan dia dgn membe rapat dia in a goyah situation. Bukan kitorang nk terus menipu, tp kawan dia nk jaga hati bf kamu tu. Tp kenapa awak, awak org yg terlampau sygkan dia pergi tebar cerita dekat bf awak pasal ex kpd bf awak been closed with your bf best buddy. Dont you just think first before you make a move. Think what will happen after you tell the story. Its not about, ajoy nk sorok sampai bila2 dia contact dgn aku dkt bf kau tu. Cuma dia fikir dia kena jaga perasaan mmbe dia. Lagi2 aku ni, ex kpd bf kau tu. Tp semua dah jadi, cuma aku mintak. Please think out of the box laa. Think what will happen next. Sorry if you think im act like im the good one. Its not like that, just wanna say you make things out of range. But alhamdulillah ajoy dah lega tak perlu sorok dah but just kalau boleh dia sendiri nk cerita dekat bf kau tu. Tp kau dah cerita and siap tunjuk gamba aku lepak dgn ajoy dkt bf kau dulu so everythings mcm not in a good ways dahlah. But nothing will change present anymore.

Just so you know,

Down to earth hmm

Assalamualaikum. Hey there, are you doing fine all readers out there? Kinda miss my blog. Im a bit busy now a days, many things had goes on with my life and many things to be settled. Many things to be faced with. And the hard part is im facing it alone, no more shoulder to cry on or tell story like before. Yelaa, dah habis sekola, kalau dulu everyday jumpa mmbe and they know if im in a good situation or no just looking by my morning face. But now, no more school. No more laugh and telling story with friends in class. I just wanna say, I really miss my friend. I miss 5 amanah laughter. If im in a hard sitution, we're all gathered in class making jokes and laugh together just make my day and makes me forget about my problems for a moment. But now no more. Like tonight, im totally down. Truly down. Cant I just sleep and next morning im wake up everythings settled! But I know, every problem we had to face it by own and dont ever run from the reality.

Just wish....

Happiness only pass by in my life then gone

Im lost sometimes. I dont know where to go. I dont know where to stop by and tell everybody to stop and give me some space. Im stucked! Before this, im okay on the outside and hurt inside. But now, im totally down outside and inside. Feels like the whole world is resting on my shoulder. I dont want anything, I just want a forever happiness. Why people like me just had a happiness in a second and having most of the time on this earth in the sadness part more. Why?! Yes I know I cant say like that. I have to accept the qada and qadar but I just cant handle everything anymore. I still remember my counselor said to me, " Sharifah, awak ni lain dari pelajar yg pernah saya kenal. Awak bukan saja pandai sorok apa yg awak lalui tp awak pandai sorok wajah luka perit awak tu. But remember dear, you cant hide it forever" And I think what my counselor said to me is became real now. Yes I cant hide it anymore. I see that when im facing my family problem like now I cant stay happy and crazy with my friends anymore like I used too. But now, I became silent when I keep remind all the problem that whining in my head all and over again without ending part. 

Like today, im happy with those work thing then when I came home. My mom said that my cousin got 7A1B for her PMR. And mama suddenly talks about my past 2 years PMR result. Ma! Is this how you treat me as your daughter, you keep repeating my mistake. Why ma?! How many times I should tell you, I wanna change! I regret with my past. I know I did a big mistake. How many times I make you and babah down. But please ma, give me chance and I dont want anything. I just want you to give me your spirit. I just want to be strong like you ma. Coz I know what mama's been through since mama married with babah and you raised me and sister with a strong heart and good discipline. I just want you to know ma, berapa kali eyra menangis sbb mama marah eyra. Selagi tula eyra rasa eyra semakin matang coz mama still there to give me advice. But I just cant accept it when you talk about my past and compare with the better child out there and repeating about my bad past with my ex. That is the most part that I hate to argue with you. How am I wanna move on if you ma, you, the one that give birth on me and feed me until I can eat by my ownself talk about things that I hate to remind back. I just cant ma. Stories with my ex is the most past that I dont want to be repeat it. I dont want ma. If I die one day before you ma, I want you to know I post this entry with tears that non-stop drop. I dont want anything ma, I want you to be there and give me spirit to forget my past. Only that ma, I want you to know, I love you and babah more than I love myself. You two are the most precious things that I have in my life.

Proudly to have you two in my life, mama babah